The Illogic of Gay Marriage


Thirteen years ago, a gay couple (two men) moved into my neighborhood.  We met during a national-night-out held at my home.  My wife and I were sitting in lawn chairs set up in the driveway, awaiting whatever visitors might come.  Up walks 2 tall, slim and nice looking men, along with two young children.  Introductions were made.  It quickly became apparent that they were gay.  Their children were adopted.  It had only been a few days since they had moved in.

At the time, I was still a traditional believing Mormon.  I KNEW homosexuality was a sin.  One of the absolute worst sins.  Maybe worse than murder.  Never before had I met a gay couple.  I had read about them.  I was aware that some even had children.  Now, open homosexuals had moved in just a few houses down the street.  My first thought was, “How will this affect the value of the neighborhood?”   Warily, I put a friendly smile on my face.

As the night transpired, I found these two men to be delightful and normal.  At least, as normal as homosexuals could be.  It turned out that both my wife and I really enjoyed their company.

At the time, I was serving as the ward mission leader.  During my 64 years on this earth, I have served for over 15 years in missionary callings.  For those not familiar with the Mormon church, when I speak of anything missionary, I’m referring to proselytizing…recruiting people to join the LDS Church.

Over the next few days, this gay couple and their children were frequently on my mind.  I had told them I was Mormon, but hadn’t invited them to church.  In their sinful living arrangement, these heads-of-household were not worthy of baptism.  I pondered, “Will the church eventually make an accommodation for gay couples to be accepted in our culture.”  I mulled over various possibilities of how this might happen.

Finally, I reasoned out a conclusion.  It’s the children.  Jesus loved the children.  Both in the Bible and Book of Mormon.  He invited all the children to come unto him.  At one point he fussed at His apostles for restricting children from coming to him.

My logic went like this:  Jesus will find a way for the children’s sake.  If the parents are gay, the only way to reach the children would be to somehow accept the parents.   So…I was confident of a coming prophetic declaration on how gay couples were to be accepted into our congregations…for the sake of the children.

Oh…The Illogic of My Reasoning!!!

In November 2015, eleven years after that memorable national-night-out, the prophetic declaration came.  If gay couples married, they would be subjected to a mandatory church court.  Excommunication was almost certain.  And their children….they were immediately excommunicated from the blessings and ordinances of the gospel.  No church court required.  These innocents were simply and summarily banned from the blessings that were privileged to the children of hetero parents.   No baby blessing.  No baptism.  No gift of the Holy Ghost.  No priesthood.  No temple attendance.

The children that Christ beckoned were now banned, prohibited, outlawed, censured, forbidden and discriminated against.  Vulnerable before.  Victimized now.  “The least of these” before.  Totally excluded now.

Eleven years previous, my logic had spoken.  Eleven years later the prophet had spoken.

Eleven years previous, I had a vision of all children accepted by Jesus.  Eleven years later, a prophet had a vision of which children were not to be accepted.

Just So You Know

My logic is often flawed.  But, in this case my logic and my heart are in agreement.  The November 5th policy is NOT of God.

If the apostles think this policy IS a revelation from God…then put it up for a vote.  I have the guts to openly speak out for the marginalized children.  They should have the guts to obey the Law of Common Consent.  This gorgeous law requires that all revelations be presented and ratified by the rank and file members.  Or rejected!!!

How Do I Feel Today About Anyone Who Is Gay?

My opinion has changed….a lot!

I offer this apology for my church’s past wrongs to the LGBT community.  And…an apology for my prior support of those wrongs.  Click HERE.

We’re all normal.  Click HERE.

Information on the Law of Common Consent.  Click HERE.


Nude Sailing

imageChildhood Sailing

As a boy, my dad taught me to sail.  I loved it.  We sailed often.  When I married and started raising a family, our first recreational purchase was a 16′ catamaran.  My children will recall many, many exciting memories of sailing through the surf in the Gulf of Mexico.  With crashing waves and strong wind, catamaran sailing is more thrilling & exhilarating than the most extreme roller coaster.  I still have a 19′ Nacra sitting in the garage.

At the not so advanced age of 63, my days at sea are no longer frequent.  But…..with whispers of nude sailing, my windy, watery sport may be winging its way to new life.

Hearing Restored With Nudity

A few days ago, I was outfitted with hearing aids for the first time.  My doctor is an attractive woman, somewhere in her thirties. She applied the miniature devices to my ears.  A round disc shaped object was hung from my neck.  I was seated in front of another and larger disc.  Wires were strung from both these devices, connecting them to a computer.  Testing, programming and fine tuning began.  The doctor: “Sally sells sea shells on the sea shore. How did that sound?” And so it went.

Between adjustments and repeated tests, we small talked.  Until….she said something about sailing.  Rarely, do you run into a fellow sailor.  Once she knew of our mutual hobby, the fitting stopped and she began regaling me of her maritime adventures. They had begun at age 9 on the Chesapeake Bay.  She recounted her sailing history; the lessons, the boats, the storms, the fun, the excitement.  Right up to this past weekend.

Then this: “Last week I was in a NUDE sailing competition with my daughter.” I had been listening with great interest.  Now my attention was riveted.  NUDE SAILING?  What the heck!  She said it so casually that it wasn’t appropriate to drop my jaw.  But, mentally, my jaw dropped completely open.  NUDE SAILING?  A BARE NAKED COMPETITION?

Suddenly, visions were dancing in my head. Not of sugar plums, something else instead.  Naked on a small sailboat?  With others all about?  How do you do that?  What does it look like?  Pulling the rudder, trimming the sails, holding the sheets.  Bending and twisting in the waves and the wind.  Sunscreen?  Tan lines?  Coed?  What??  NUDE SAILING???  And, a competition, to boot?

But, wait, maybe the new devices weren’t working well.  Maybe I just misheard.  Could it have been crude, or prude, or lewd?  Wait a minute.  Now, I’m just thinking of things that might be connected with NUDE.

Not missing a beat, she kept talking.  Then, my thoughts went back 30 years.  My dad, my 3 brothers and I rented a large sailboat in the Caribbean.  For 7 days we sailed from one island to the next.  The little French isle of St. Bart’s held an eye-popping surprise.  We anchored in a small uninhabited cove.  Beautiful water, beach, vegetation.  Another boat pulled into the same protected harbor.  Maybe 50 yards away.

Before long, everybody on our boat had detected something intriguing about their boat. We were clad in swimsuits. They were clad in none. Necked they were.  I didn’t want to stare, with my dad and brothers there.  But….I wanted to stare….just like my dad and brothers, who were there.  So, we all stole furtive glances until sunset.

Finally, my curiosity couldn’t be contained. Timidly, I queried, “The hearing aids might need more adjustment.  I’m sure this can’t be right, but did you say NUDE sailing?”

Her response was a mischievous giggle.  Uh…oh….what now?  I’m just getting hearing aids, right?  I hope?

Chuckling, she replied, “I did say nude sailing. But, that’s N…O…O…D.  It stands for National Offshore One-Design.” We got a good laugh out of the misunderstanding. Now, we both knew that my hearing was crystal clear.

New, but Not NUDE, Couple in the Hood

A few years ago, my wife and I sponsored a get-together for National Night Out.  We distributed flyers, set out chairs & tables, ice cream & treats. Two men walked up our driveway and politely introduced themselves.  They had recently moved into the neighborhood and hadn’t met many neighbors, yet.  They were a delightful COUPLE. That’s right. They were a gay couple. The first one that I’d ever met. And….they had 2 adopted children. Within a few short months they had moved away.

This encounter got me thinking about the Mormon church’s stance on gay people. Would accommodations ever be made to allow room for them in our religion?  My wife and I discussed it.  I don’t know why I spent time considering the issue.  I just did.  Finally, I came to the conclusion that somehow changes would have to be made.  Somehow gay couples would have to be included.  Because….there are children involved!  Jesus made a point to point out that he loves all children. Without the parents, these children would likely remain unreachable.  Children are treasured much more by the Savior than any policy.

Little did I know that the church would soon move in the polar opposite direction.

The New, and NUDE, November Policy

November 2015 held a shocking surprise. A church wide policy was announced.  Gay couples, who have the audacity to engage in legal and lawful marriage, would be declared apostate.  Children of gay parents were to be stripped of their right to baby blessings, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and temple attendance.

A friend of mine is married to the love of her life.  Two women with five children between them.  Their darling family of 7 were active believing members.  In faith, this couple had managed to cope with the church’s stance on being gay.  How much faith does THAT require?  I can only imagine the difficulty.  Never-the-less, their righteous desire was to see their children raised in the church.

November changed all that.  The edict from Salt Lake City crushed their faith. This precious family of 7 no longer attends.  A few days ago, the bishop contacted my friend to schedule their disciplinary council.  Insult added to injury.

This new policy has been dressed up as a pronouncement of love & protection for the little ones with gay parents.  But, when all the rhetoric is stripped away, it’s a just a NAKED program of rejection, exclusion and stigma.

Two thousand years ago, Jesus gently counseled that the pathway to heaven was traveled by reaching out to the “least of these.”  Two thousand years later, we have resorted to casting them out.