On March 2, 1982 distraught and filled with self-hate over his inability to stop masturbating, Kip Eliason, age 16,committed suicide. Before asphyxiating himself, Kip left his father a note:
“Dear Dad, I love you more than what words can say. If it were possible, I would stay alive for only you, for I really only have you. But it isn’t possible. I must first love myself, and I do not. The strange feeling of darkness and self-hate overpowers all my defenses. I must unfortunately yield to it. This turbulent feeling is only for a few to truly understand. I feel that you do not comprehend the immense feeling of self-hatred I have. This is the only way I feel that I can relieve myself of these feelings now. Carry on with your life and be happy. I love you more than words can say.—Your son, Kip”
You can read the whole story HERE. (The information above is courtesy of Jonathan Streeter.)
Shaming Our Children to Death
This is the most devastating outcome of youth masturbation interviews. Kip’s story is a crushing tragedy.
Recently, a mother shared this short and shocking statement regarding masturbation interviews, “My stepson ended his life because of this!!”
Don’t let this happen to your child!!!
Suicide Attempt #1
A couple of months ago, a friend of mine accompanied a close friend to pick up her son at the airport. He had been sent home early from his full-time mission. Why? Multiple…suicide…attempts. The last one was nearly fatal.
Why was this young Elder so distraught? Masturbation. He was not able to eradicate it. Heaps of shame and guilt had brought him to the brink of death.
How tragic. How long will it take for this kid to overcome the shame that was totally unnecessary? This natural and normal practice was not the sin. The sin rests squarely on the hands of the shaming church.
Suicide Attempt #2
A new friend shared this experience.
“Eleven years ago next month, I was standing in the dark of Butterfield canyon, having hiked up a trail a ways at 2:00 am. I could no longer go on. I took a .40 Sig-Sauer with me intending to end it there. I got a phone call while standing there nerving up to pull the trigger. It saved my life. I came to a decision that day, that the church would no longer be part of my life. Why was I there? Because of 30 years of shame of Masturbation.
Suicide Attempt #3
This story is from the son of one of my best friends in the Mormon Church.
“My son tried to kill himself over a masturbation interview at age 16. The interview took place years earlier. It was at a young age and sent my child on a self loathing path, he felt worthlessness, graduated to depression and made attempts on his life. The bishop probably has no clue that his actions damaged a sweet soul who made a minor mistake and tried to kill himself. You can see the shame they put on my son as a young man that drove him from happy young man to ending his life, through the mercy of God he was saved. My youngest son found my middle son with a plastic bag over his head and rubber bands holding it in place. The Lord has blessed me and my posterity as the actions and shame forced on people is wrong.”
Suicide Attempt #4
Petition Comment: “It caused me lots of problems including trying to commit suicide at age 13. They shamed me and it was very uncomfortable and disturbing!”
Woman: I was suicidal for years and thought God thought I was dirty
Man: These traumatic experiences cast a shadow over my entire adolescence and marred my church experience. All of us young men knew that these “worthiness interviews” served one main purpose: to ascertain if we were looking at porn and/or masturbating. Being required to discuss my body so vulnerably every six months with an authoritative man induced fear and shame in me that I am still trying to shake off 20 years later. Even though my bishops were kind men, I feared them and would do anything to avoid them. The feelings of depression, suicidality, and self-loathing caused by these interviews are real. Minors are not matured enough to be able to give consent to be questioned about something so invasive and personal. IT IS PSYCHOLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SEXUAL ABUSE. Unfortunately when I was young, nobody protected me. But now as a recovering adult, I will do anything I can to help end this inappropriate abuse.
Man: This practice destroyed my self-esteem, caused me to experience nearly relentless anxiety from age 8 on and led me to take desperate actions to “fix” myself of normal adolescent behavior deemed to be amoral. This extreme and relentless psychological distress eventually royally messed up the trajectory of my life as I took desperate measures to avoid additional ecclesiastical punishment. This must be stopped before any other child goes through this simply because they are honest.
Woman: I was suicidal as a teen because of the over emphasis on masturbation as a wrong thing. I also made other poor decisions because I felt unworthy and that it didn’t matter what I did because I was already unworthy. There was a great deal of self loathing. I still can’t look at my face in the mirror without hating what I see because I used to look at myself after I masturbated and think how ugly I looked without the spirit and how I would have to tell my bishop that I had slipped up again. That should never have happened.
Man: I was asked about my masturbation habits by Mormon ecclesiastical leaders from age 12 until age 35 when I finally resigned my membership. This practice has to stop. Items 2-7, 9, 10 on the list of potential harm all apply to me. That includes attempting suicide.
Protect Our Children
Isn’t this enough?!! We are literally killing our children with shame and self-loathing.
If you are truly a follower of Christ, stand up and protect our children. Sign the Petition.
If you are a human being who gives a damn about our children…Sign the Petition.