Anger, Fury, Outrage—Gifts from God

Lion RunningThe past 3 days have been really hard.

Last night, I reached out to my friend Sandy, one of the victims of an egregiously evil bishop’s interview.  Thank you Sandy.  It helped.  I’ve linked her story below.

Two more things happened today that have helped lift me. I’m not out of the woods yet, but, I’m starting to see the way out.
1.  I had lost hope that my cause had any chance of success.  Today, I talked about it with other friends and mulled it over on my own.  I have come to realize a major reason that hope was fading.  A few months ago, a former member of my ward reached out and let me know that she and her husband have basically left the church.  That was a shocker.  She had watched my journey and felt this quote was appropriate: “Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.” 

That sentiment resonated big time. 

Here’s what has happened over the past couple of weeks and in earnest over the past few days:  I have tamped…down…my…anger.  Of course, we should exert control over our emotions.  But here’s the problem.  Hope and anger are intertwined, according to St. Augustine.  As I have pushed anger out of the my mind, hope has started to flicker and wane.  Then followed by a descent into despair.  Today, I have embraced my anger again.  As I have, hope has come rushing back to burn brightly in my heart. 

After All….

  • How can I not be angry at a system that allowed and fostered 6 years of my sweet daughter being taken behind closed doors and grilled about masturbation?!!!!
  • How can I not be cut to the quick and outraged at what was done to 7 year old Sandy on the bishop’s desktop?!!!!!!
  • How can I not be brought to tears and incensed by what was done to 12 year old Amy in the bishop’s office?!!!!
  • How can I not be devastated and enraged at the tragedy of Samuel’s death?!!!!

Nope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My anger is God-given.  I will embrace this gift from God.  Christ is my exemplar.  Hear the tone in his fiery roar:  “Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

2.  This afternoon, the company’s top sales person came into my office.  He’s not Mormon, yet feels strongly about protecting LDS children.  We discussed all that’s going on, including the lack of support from my long-time active friends, the threat of excommunication, the total lack of concern and non-response I’ve received from the Church.   In conclusion he said this:  Sam, I feel it’s a privilege to witness what you are doing.  I hope you know that God is directing you.

 Occasionally, people express concern for me.  Here’s when you should worry….when I am no longer emotional about the hideous things we are doing to our kids.  Until my faith transition, hope was not much of an operative virtue in my religious practice.  It is now.  For me, the HOPE to protect our children inspires ANGER and COURAGE.  When I have both in my heart, I find myself standing tall with my 14,000 friends.  When I push either away, my heart starts to say, “Run away, Sam. Run away.”  I’m not running the hell away.  I’m embracing my outrage and running to meet Goliath.

If you see a spark of fury or observe a glimmer of courage……know that once again, I am full of hope.

Sandy’s Story

 

Amy’s Story

Samuel’s Story

March-For-The-Children

On March 30, 2018, one thousand concerned human beings will March-For-The-Children in support of changes to prevent the hideous damage we are inflicting on our kids.  This will be an historic occasion in Mormon history.

Make plans to join us now.  Arrange the day off, book your flight, put together your car pools.   Bring your family, bring your kids, bring your friends.  For most of us, this will be a once in a lifetime opportunity.  One that we will treasure with fondness for the rest of our lives.

You can register to March-For-The-Children on Eventbrite or on Facebook.

***Please Share the March-For-The-Children FAR and WIDE***

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2 thoughts on “Anger, Fury, Outrage—Gifts from God

  1. My Dear Sam,

    After reading your post just now, I paused for some introspection on what I might share with you with intent to offer my support and perhaps buoy your spirits up. What I’ll write here just came to me. It feels like a maxim. I dunno if other observers of our human condition have said the same thing essentially… probably so. Regardless, here is that thought:

    The Universe in which we were created … and especially here on this planet during our Earthly habitation … is a study in contrast. Light is fairly unimpressive without Dark. Good is less amazing without Evil; Truth seems less valuable without Falsehood; Nurturing is not as precious without Harm and Abuse; Peace is less appreciated without War and Oppression … etc. You get my drift.

    I sincerely believe that during our sojourn in this human form, that the whole purpose of our experience is to FEEL the highs and lows of this amazing dream we are living.

    The maxim is this: The height of the HIGHEST emotions we have personal capacity to experience is inversely proportional to the depth of the LOWEST emotions we experience.

    Jesus Himself showed us this maxim in action in his own life. One can conjecture that during his Garden of Gethsemane ordeal, perhaps Jesus experienced a metaphysical process of personally FEELING the entirety of human suffering bearing down upon his heart and soul. Other mystics have reported similar epiphanies wherein they felt like they had the crushing burden of all suffering weighing on their heart. Maybe after experiencing the depths of suffering and sorrow did Jesus then have the capacity to feel and express the polar opposite energy and emotion of unconditional love and infinite compassion.

    Sam, it seems to me that perhaps your ability to so deeply feel empathy, then anger and outrage when you see innocent and vulnerable children being damaged in the name of Jesus … that this depth of emotional energy is then redirected to fuel your equally passionate power and intensity of courage and resolve to PROTECT those children from further harm and abuse.

    You pretty much said as much in your post. So I am not saying anything you have not already dialed in. Maybe hearing it from someone else who loves who you are will strengthen your resolve that you are indeed on the RIGHT PATH.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sam , Gary is truly your support package and he offers support so eloquently and to the point. He encouraged me to forgive myself “for being human and experiencing a myriad of learning and growing experiences throughout your life.” Thus upon reflection I realised that those experiences in the LDS Church enabled us to make a good choice in the end; without those experiences we would not have been prepared to appreciate where we are now.
    I have learnt too, that w.r.t. my issue with the facilitation of baptisms of Jesus Christ in the Temples by the LDS Church (that information is now “Not Available”) to have expected an apology would not have been reasonable. After all that would have been an admission of guilt.
    The issues with our children really anger me; however your petition is the Lord’s answer to our prayers and we continue to pray.
    Last weekend we noted that you had paused …and we wondered. It reminded me of the white-breasted crow, which after probably flying into our internal electric fence, and standing inert with both wings drooping on the ground the entire day, took stock of his situation and then climbed into our huge thorn tree , which had fallen over eons ago, with its trunk parallel to the ground and its branches stretching vertically. He goes under the fence where the bath water flows and forages in the rest of our property. He has a goal viz. to survive, and he does so with amazing determination and courage.
    He has handicaps -two broken wings. Your handicaps are the ominous threat of excommunication (to be avoided by resigning if the need arises), and the lack of response from those you are aiming to petition.
    However, it is your JOURNEY that actually counts and it is already making a huge difference.You have already helped so many people, and others in the future. You are DETERMINED and COURAGEOUS …it is in your dna.The Lord I am sure is blessing you.

    Liked by 2 people

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